Legalized

Today is my 19th birthday. Throughout the day, I have been overly reflective of not only this past year, but those to come. If you've been following me for some time now, which I believe most of you have been, you know what's been going on in my life and  how difficult it can be. I have learned so much about myself this year, and I am still young and still learning. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life; and for the first time, I'm ok with that. I spend too much money on makeup and should probably quit smoking, but I'm not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be anything near it.

Something that has been prevelent on my mind more than ever is that I feel the urge, the need, to create something beautiful. I do not know what, or how, or even when, simply the need to. I have been toying with the ideas of making steampunk jewelry, or painting, and I've begun drawing again. But how do I know when I've created the right thing? And what is it that I am trying to create, and what kind of impact do I want it to have, and on how many people? Do I want something to effect the entire planet, such as Jane Austen's work or Shakespeare, or something smaller, like the amazing volunteers in my city? Or is the thing I am looking for right infront of me, in me, just waiting for the proper time: motherhood?

Yes folks, this is what is always on my mind. Anyhoo, this is what I wore tonight for my  birthday dinner: a silk Aritzia dress, Aldo heels, Guess belt, gifted bracelets, Primative Behaviour blue ring and Suzy Shier shield ring.